Funny quotes about congress

FreedomDemocracies HavePolitical. Richard Armour. YearsLongGreed. PlatoWarGovernment. Winston Churchill. FunnyHumorousNext Week. Adler Churchill Wit p. George W. WittyNatureChildren.

Funny quotes about congress: We the people are the

January 7, Ambrose Bierce. EvilPoliticalWish. Cynic's Word Book p. Political WillGreedNerd. Ambrose Bierce Al Gore. FunnyWittyRegret. Dan Quayle. FunnyStupidMean. FunnyWittyStupid. FunnyWittyScience. Texas Guinan. FunnyLifeCountry. FunnyWittyPhoenix. Doug Larson. ChangeKeysCities. Groucho Marx. I meant to call Congress, but your number was one off.

One number different. Get it? So what was the hardest part? It sounds like quite a challenge. The room was suddenly very quiet. And found myself unexpectedly biting back tears. All Rights Reserved. Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke.

Funny quotes about congress: Funny Congress quotes and jokes.

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death. Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition, and death is the worst thing for it. Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. A man who's licked his weight in wild caterpillars? You bet I'm afraid!

Funny quotes about congress: May 15, - Explore dilip patel's

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right. Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer. Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.

I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you. Where did you park the invisible car? A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. When everything comes your way you're in the wrong lane. There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.

Funny quotes about congress: "The budget is like a

By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? The most important words in the English language are not "I love you" but "It's benign. I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. You're already a bastard. Might as well be an enlightened one. Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.

You can't say 'I don't do politics,' because silence is a political statement. Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party. If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession.

I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first. Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. Every day we present the best quotes!